


Demyx's Webshow

by Falco276



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-06 23:56:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falco276/pseuds/Falco276
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Demyx is collecting any kind of footage he can get around the castle, whether its baking cookies, doing ballerina and even farming he tapes it all in this humorous tale. Episode Two; Demyx gives you his secret tips to relieving stress! WARNING; BEWARE OF THE RANDOMNESS. Originally written by Crimson Oblivion from Fanfiction.net. Used permission to post her story here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Episode One: Baking Cookies!

_**Are They Done Yet? Episode One A Valentine's Special  
** _

_Happy Valentines day all you awesome people who are reading this! Who's awesome? YOU ARE! Have great day and enjoy!  
_

* * *

"Hey all you awesome people! Today were gonna make some cookies! Right Marluxia?"

"Spread the love! Spread the joy! Spread the love!"

"Um you already said love Marluxia…"

Marluxia a wavy pink haired nobody number 11 from Organization 13 and was skipping around the kitchen in The Castle that Never Was, throwing pink rose petals everywhere. And Demyx an optimistic mullet haired young man was an innocent by stander filming the entire situation for a web show he had made.

It was February 14th, Valentine's day to be exact and the two Nobody's wanted to celebrate it somehow, even though they didn't have hearts to feel.

"Spread the love, spread the love!" Marluxia continued singing and skipping with a wide ear to ear grin. The camera wiped around quickly to catch the dancing Marluxia on film.

"Ready to make the cookies?" Demyx inquired from behind the device as he sniffled through his nose, man Marluxia could sometimes use way too much perfume.

"Spread the love, spread the love!" The pink haired nobody acted as if Demyx wasn't there and continued skipping.

"Hey, Marly I'm talking to you."

"Spread the love! Spread the love!

Demyx placed the camera on the island in the middle of the kitchen and…

_SMACK!_

"MY BEAUTIFUL FACE, MY GORGEOUS FACE!" The graceful Assassin was shown shrieking like a little girl sitting on the floor while caressing his face gently after Demyx wacked him.

"So as I was saying, we should make heart shaped cookies for everyone!" Demyx announced again while picking up the camera and taped his friend.

"Can they be pink?"

"Yes Marluxia, they can be pink…"

"Yippee!" The pink haired man clapped his hands together and squealed.

Just then the kitchen door swung open and a tall long blonde haired man with creepy bright green eyes stood in the door way. This was Vexen, the creepy Scientist of them all. The two whipped around and the focus of the camera zoomed in on Vexen's creepy face, a snicker was heard from behind the device.

"What are you imbeciles doing?" He asked while staring at them with an upset expression, Vexen never seemed happy, the only time he'd actually laugh and grin was when he was doing his maniacal laughing session.

" **THIS IS SPARTA!"** A loud deep voice echoed through the air, everyone just pushed it off like it was something that happened often.

"Nothing, what are you doing?" Demyx inquired as he cleared his throat a few times, the perfume was still bugging him.

The creepy man took a step in, only to place his foot on a pink rose petal the Graceful Assassin left behind. He slipped and slid around on the petal as if he were ice skating, the other two nobody's stared with their mouths agape, dumbstruck.

"Ahhhh!" The scientist screamed like a little girl as he continued sliding around on the petal. He flapped his arms around trying to maintain his balance.

Demyx moved the camera at different angles to capture the troubled Vexen sliding around, zooming in and out at times.

After circling around the island a few times and around the kitchen he finally crashed into a wall and fell backwards, unconscious.

With camera in hand the two ran over to the man on his back and poked him continuously.

"Maybe we should hide him in the closet?" Marluxia suggested with a shrug.

Demyx zoomed in and viewed the creeps face up close for all people to see, and have nightmares.

"Good idea."

And with that he set the camera back on the island in a perfect spot to view him and Marluxia both holding up opposite ends of the man (Demyx carrying the legs and Marluxia his head) and threw him into the kitchen closet and shut the door.

" **SMASHING PUMPKINS!"** It was that same voice again shouting nonsense, who was it?

"Back to the cookies… "Demyx turned to face the camera after dusting his hands as if he hadn't heard the scream, "Alright so step one; Find a good sized mixing bowl, ok?" He turned around and grabbed one out of a top cupboard and set it on the counter, "Step two-"

"Are they done yet?" Marluxia interrupted while sitting in a stool placed at the island, running his fingers through his hair as he stared at himself in a hand held mirror that randomly appeared out of nowhere.

"We haven't even put the mix together yet Marluxia." Demyx replied after turning around.

"Oh right, sorry."

"So step two; get your cookie mix, pancake mix or whatever you're gonna use and dump it into the bowl!" Demyx smiled at the camera while before he turned back around and opened a sugar cookie packet and poured it into the bowl.

"Are they done yet?" The pink haired man asked as he was now sitting in a random salon chair filing his pink nails with a bright red filer.

"No Marluxia, we have like ten more steps to go!" Demyx sighed with annoyance before looking back at the camera, "Anyway the next step is to add your ingredients, but it depends on what you're making so don't follow our steps if you aren't making sugar cookies." The Melodious Nocturne turned back around and poured some eggs that he had cracked earlier into the mixture along with some milk and vanilla.

"Are they done yet?" Marluxia asked in a southern accent. Demyx turned his head to face him, and stared wide eyed at the outfit the pink haired man was wearing. He wore a brown ten gallon hat complete with boots, a bandana and cowboy attire.

"When did you get changed?" The shocked nobody asked.

"A couple seconds ago." Marluxia replied in a deep southern accent as he dusted off some invisible dust off his shoulder.

"How?"

"Just like this, done." A poof of white smoke appeared around Marluxia and after it disappeared he was now wearing a black bear costume.

"Just by saying done?" White smoke then appeared around Demyx and after it dissipated he was wearing a king's outfit, seated on a tall, giant royal throne.

"Done." Marluxia said as he pointed to the cookie mixture. Suddenly, the bowl of ingredients poofed into a tray of warm baked delicious cookies right before their eyes.

"Wow…" Demyx awed as he stared with his mouth open.

" **THIS IS SPARTA!"** The random voice yelled, it had to be someone with a deep voice. Xemnas? Lexeaus even Xaldin maybe?

"Well guys, I think were done!" Demyx shouted off screen, too high up for him to be captured on camera.

"HOLY ARTICHOKE THISTLE! They're not pink or heart shaped!" The pink haired man shrieked in utter horror as he pointed to the batch of cookies on the counter, still wearing the bear costume.

"Uh, hold on…Done!" Demyx exclaimed as he pointed his index finger at the cookies. They puffed in white smoke and once it cleared…

"HOLY BIGHEAD KNAPWEED, KITTENS!" Marluxia screeched as he leaped towards the kittens on the counter, knocking the camera on the floor while he did so.

With loud clicks and bangs the screen was now showing the black bear costume feet of Marluxia coming closer. The man-bear dude scooped up the camera and it happened to be on zoom from the fall and it was now showing the pink nose hairs of Marluxia nose.

The man tossed it into the air and the screen was now showing Marluxia getting smaller and smaller until it was caught in Demyx's hands.

"Maybe we should turn it off." He stated as he hit the power button.

The screen turned back on hours later and was showing Demyx's grinning face, "Oh, it's on." He mumbled and then whipped the camera around to show two batches of pink frosted heart shaped cookies on silver trays.

"Our babies are done! And it only took us…Two and a half hours, whoa, a new record!" The Melodious Nocturne exclaimed from behind the camera. He then turned the camera to his right and viewed Marluxia tied up in a rope that was attached to the stove. "Yeah I'm not going to explain what happened, but anyway the cookies are done! Now we can give them away!"

Marluxia jerked his head up quickly and then sang suddenly, "Oops I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in the game!"

"Yeah and that's why he's tied up, but I'm not getting into details so… Let's go!" Demyx stopped recording and the screen went blank for a few seconds. Then a new scene was showing and Demyx was standing in front of a creamy white door in the bleach hallway while carrying a red container decorated with hearts.

The camera angled up to zoom in on the words, 'Superior of In Between, I', "I'm gonna give one to my boss!" Demyx whispered excitedly from behind the camera as he knocked on the door a couple of times.

After a few clicks of locks the door slowly creaked open to reveal and older man's face with glowing ember eyes and silver hair, "What is it number nine? And what are you doing with that camera?" His Superior asked.

The melodious Nocturne then zoomed in on Xemnas' eyes and giggling as he did so.

"Oh I'm giving out cookies for V times day!" Demyx replied as he held out the container with his left hand.

"It's Valentine's day Demyx, not Valentime's. I'm starting a new diet so I won't accept them."

And with that Xemnas closed his door.

With an "Aww" Demyx walked a few feet to the next door labeled, 'Free Shooter, II' and knocked.

The door opened quite fast shocking Demyx a bit and revealed a tall man with an eye patch over his right eye and his long hair was tied in pony tail, "Hey dude, are those cookies for me?" He asked in a surfer's accent.

"They sure are Xigbar! Take a couple!" The Melodious Nocturne replied with a cheesy grin.

The free shooter grabbed a couple and crammed one in his mouth, "Hmm pretty good. Oh hi guys!" Said Xigbar with a wave as he noticed he was getting filmed.

The screen went blank for a moment and was now viewing a short black haired girl with blue eyes.

"Want a cookie?" Demyx asked her as he zoomed into her face. She giggled quietly and took a frosted pink cookie in her hand.

"Thanks." She said quietly nearly above a whisper.

"No prob Xion! Happy Valentime's day!"

She then stood on her tippy toes and pressed her lips against his cheek softly and walked off, leaving Demyx red as a tomato.

"W-wow," He stuttered, "I guess today is a good day after all…"

The scene changed suddenly and was now viewing a tall spiky bright red haired man with purple tear drops under his eyes.

"Hey you ladies out there, watch me flex my muscles!" The man named Axel stated with a Cheshire cat of a grin and rolled up the sleeve of his cloak and flexed his muscles.

"Axel knock it off." Demyx said from behind the camera, "Just take a cookie."

With a roll of his eyes the tall man grabbed a couple of cookies and turned on his heel and walked away.

" **REVENGE!"** It was that deep voice again echoing through the hallways, what's going on?

With a change of scene it was now showing Demyx sitting on the stool in the kitchen, "Well I was able to manage to give out five cookies, it's such a bummer. What am I going to do with the leftovers?" He asked the camera.

"WOOF WOOF BARK BARK! MARLY WANTS A COOKIE!"

Demyx whipped the camera to the left and viewed Marluxia sitting on the floor still chained up, and quickly whipped back to Demyx, "So I hope you guys have an awesome Valentine's day, or singles awareness day whatever you wanna call it. But please leave a comment in that pretty box below and tell us if you're single or not and see ya later!" He still stared at the screen, "Bye now…Bye bye! Why are you still watching? BYE!"

He finally hit the power switch.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed Demyx's new webshow! I might add episodes later on, but just tell me what you guys think and answer Demyx's question, he asked nicely after all.**


	2. Episode Two! Relieving Stress!

**Another chapter for you awesome people, enjoy Xigbar's fun fact too!  
**

* * *

"Hey guys, thanks for watching!" Demyx exclaimed into the camera with a cheesy grin and a wave, "In today's super fantastic episode I'm gonna tell you ways to relieve stress! Sound interesting? I hope so!" The nobody was in his messy room lying down on his bed talking into the camera, excited for a second episode.

"Tip number one!" He said while raising a finger as a neon green number one spun around the screen, "Beat up a giraffe!" The scene suddenly changed to a giraffe picture and Xigbar was shown punching the background, "AWWW YEAH!" He screamed like a man in a screamo band.

The scene changed back to Demyx, "Number two,"He announced happily but then changed to a deep and serious tone,"Throw an egg out your window and poke it with a stick."

The scene changed and showed Demyx dropping an egg out his window and having it land on Marluxia's luscious pink locks. Little girl screams were heard as the Melodious Nocturne portaled his way outside. Grabbing a random stick he poked Marluxia's head.

"STOP IT!" Marluxia wailed like a 3 year old, " STOP IT NOW!"

The scene changed back to Demyx laying on his bed, "Number 3, call someone emo." The mullet haired teen stated as he held up three of his fingers.

The scene changed to show Demyx standing in one of the bleach hallways of the castle beside a short slate haired teen with his hair covering his right eye. "You're emo." Demyx stated plainly as he pointed to the nobody name Zexion.

"Shut up, I'm not emo Demyx, I don't have a heart therefore I can't be emo." Zexion replied matter of factly while crossing his arms.

"You're still emo." Demyx continued.

With frustration the short teen uncrossed his arms and replied with hand gestures, "I'm not, end of discussion." He turned on his heel and began walking away.

"Emo." Demyx continued to say. The teen turned around with the most angry expression ever. His nose wrinkled up and his eyes could pop any second.

"I AM NOT EMO!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, vibrating the castle.

"Uh oh." Demyx said rather quickly as he was shown running away and out of the camera view.

"CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!" Zexion screamed with his hands in the air, running after the poor mullet haired and why he was screaming chocolate was beyond anyone.

After that was shown the scene changed back to Demyx lying on his bed again, "Number 4," He stated while holding up four fingers, "Tell someone you found the cure for cancer!" He finished as he did a thumbs up with his cheesy grin.

The scene was now black and the Jaws theme started to play. The black slowly faded and was now showing Demyx in a lab next to a tall creepy blonde haired scientist.

"Hey Vexen!" Demyx exclaimed excitedly.

With a sigh said nobody turned to face him, "What is it you imbecile?" He asked rather rudely.

"I found the cure for cancer!" Demyx shouted. After yelling this the creepy scientist froze into a trance. He stared and stood still, not even breathing or blinking.

"Um hello?" Demyx inquired as he waved a hand in front of Vexen's face. With a look of confusion the mullet haired brunette turned to face the camera and shrugged.

The scene switched back revealing Demyx talking to the camera again. "OK, you've seen 4 tips so far, and now's the final one..." Demyx began to look behind him and slowly face the camera with a mischievous expression and the jaws music began to play again.

"You..." He said slowly. "Eat...A...A..." He closed his eyes and toppled over on his side and moaned quietly with his mouth hung open. He didn't move at all, it was as if he passed out.

After a few moments he quickly sat back up, "No you sillies I didn't die, anyway you eat a Teddy Graham." He suddenly viewed one up close to the lens before popping the cookie into his mouth. "Well, that's all, thanks for watching you awesome fans! Oh! before I forget, I've gotta ask you the daily question! OK so here it goes, do you prefer dogs or cats? Well see ya now, I hope you enjoyed it! Bye!" He waved goodbye, ready to hit the power button on the device.

"NOT YET YOU DON'T!" A gruff man's voice yelled right after Demyx's door had been burst open, slamming against the wall. The camera was then moved to view Xigbar standing in the doorway.

"Xigbar, what is it? Can't you see I'm busy running a web show?" Demyx inquired with an annoyed expression from behind the camera as he sat up on his bed and crossed his legs into the criss-cross position and propped his elbows on his knees, holding the small device in his hands.

"You didn't do Xiggy's fun fact of the day!" The man with the eye patch exclaimed as he raised his hands into the air.

"Xiggy's fun fact?" Demyx repeated in question, "When did we decide to do that?"

"Just now!" The man replied taking a step in and closing the door, "But first let me say a few things to our fans, You..." He started as he pointed his finger close to the lens, "...Are awesome." He finished with a smirk.

"OK so what's your fun fact?" Demyx asked as he zoomed out trying not to get a close up of Xigbar.

"Uh, uh, uh," The man started while waving his finger back in forth as if to correct something,"You gotta do the music."

"Music?" Demyx repeated.

"Yeah, like this." Xigbar then pulled out a tape recorder from his left cloak pocket and pressed the play button.

"It's time for Xigbar's awesome, spectacular and epic fun fact of the day!" A cheery female voice said. Then some blows of trumpets were heard and it ended. The Free Shooter put the recorder away and stared into the camera,

"Alright kiddos, it's time for an amazing fun fact that you might've never heard before!" A random drum roll started and Xigbar grinned at the camera widely.

A few moments of silenced passed and Xigbar was still staring at the camera, still with the pounding of the drums.

"Uhm Xigbar the viewers are waiting..." Demyx stated before sighing.

"Hold on, I know give me some time..." The man replied.

A few minutes passed and finally the drum roll ended.

"OK! Did you know that The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache? It's true! Now see ya kiddo's!" After Xigbar announced the fact a high pitched scream filled the air.

"CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!"

Demyx and Xigbar sat up straighter and froze in place.

"OK got to go bye!" And with that, Demyx shut off the camera.

* * *

**End! Leave a review while answering Demyx's question! Have an awesome day!  
**


	3. Episode Three! Dare to be Stupid!

_**Episode Three; Dare to be Stupid (I'm in a very descriptive mood so sorry if I bore you)** _

* * *

**XxXxXxXx**

"Hey everyone! Nice to see ya for another episode of my totally awesome web show!" Demyx greeted to the camera with a slight wave and ear to ear grin as the sound of trumpets blew to the tune of 'Tada!'

The mullet haired man was sitting in his black swivel chair in his messy room that was placed in front of his cluttered desk full of unfinished mission reports.

"OK so put your chainsaws down for a second and listen to my totally awesome idea that popped into my head like a French fry giving birth to a crocodile! OK forget I said that but it turns out nobody has done it before in the history of all Nobodies!" He stated excitedly as he waved both his hands around for dramatic effect.

'Today I'm…" A drum roll started as his eyes grew big, "Going to tan myself in the microwave!" He chuckled slightly, "Let's go see how this is gonna work!"

And with that, the Melodious Nocturne grabbed the small camera and quickly ran out of his room. The camera shook with every step he took.

He jogged through the bleach hallways that made him stick out like a sore thumb with his black cloak. He gently pushed open a creamy white door and stepped into the Kitchen of Consumption.

Demyx turned the camera around to face himself, "Alright it seems like nobody is in here so this is the perfect time to try it out!"

He whipped the camera back around and moved the device around the room so the viewers could get a look of what the kitchen looked like.

The space was pretty large, open and modern; it was a necessity to have a large kitchen to fit fourteen members in there.

The kitchen had smooth and shiny white cabinets and drawers; a stainless steel double door refrigerator was built into the left wall and beside it were cupboards and tons of counter top space that was also bleach white.

A mixer and a cutting board were left out on the counter space that cornered the wall and a fairly large oven was on the back wall beside the cabinet in the corner. A dishwasher which made it easy to clean all the many dirty dishes that were used daily was placed a few cabinets down away from the stove.

A double and deep sink was placed on the right wall by itself along with tons and tons of open counter space that lined the wall.

Placed in the middle was a large white island with some dirty plates which a lazy member like Xigbar must have left behind.

"Alright," He made the camera face him again, "Now that you have seen the boring kitchen it's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys…"

He placed the device onto the island and faced it towards the large fridge which he was searching through, "Before we start anything crazy we need to do something important." He stated while whirling around to face the camera.

Dramatic music started and he stared blankly at the camera lense and without blinking his eyes he said zombie-like, "We need to find Mr. Goodbar."

He rummaged through a few items in the large fridge and pulled out a large green plastic bowl with plastic wrap covering the top.

"Hey, it's mashed potatoes…"

_**XxXxXxXxX** _

Suddenly the scene changed that showed Zexion sitting on a couch in the gray area, reading his thick lexicon.

With a chuckle from behind camera a large bowl of mashed potatoes flew through the air and plopped on top of the Schemers head like a hat.

Zexion slowly lowered the book in his lap and revealed his very angry face.

"AHHH! I CHIPPED A NAIL!" Bellowed a shrilling voice that belonged to no other than Marluxia.

Zexion then sat up, leaving his Lexicon on the couch and clenched his fists tightly with anger.

"He's gonna blow." Demyx whispered behind camera.

"CHOCOLATE!" Zexion screamed while shaking his fists into the air which made Demyx snicker.

The Schemer then picked up Marluxia by his sides and threw him through the thin glass wall and stomped off to who knows where.

Nobody knows if Marluxia even survived the fall…

"Zexion! Mashed potatoes are your friends!" Demyx shouted.

_**XxXxXxXxX** _

The scene changed back to the kitchen again but this time Demyx was in a light blue dress that buttoned up in the back. The sleeves of the dress were poofed and were edged with lace. Over the blue dress he wore a pinafore that was tied together in the back with a large white bow. Below the waist of the apron were white ruffles along the edges. He was also wearing shoes that were the style of Mary Jane.

To sum it all up, he was wearing the outfit which Alice wore in Alice in Wonderland.

"OK guys, you're probably wondering why I'm wearing this. Well let's just say that this is my detective dress."

Suddenly voices of a choir sang, "Detective dress!"

"That's right, detective dress."

The choir of voices sang again, "Detective dress!"

"But before we set out on a journey to find this Mr. Goodbar, we have to squeeze some Charmin. That's right Charmin. You know the toilet paper? Gosh you guys are quiet, do you expect me to do all the talking around here?"

With a sigh he grabbed a package of toilet paper from the counter top that he placed there while getting prepared for the detective dress scene and opened it and retrieved a roll of toilet paper.

"Alright, now time to squeeze it."

He then began to crush the soft roll with the pressure of his hands.

"I think I should add this to my list of ways to relieve stress 'cause man this is some squishy stuff…" He mused out loud while staring at the blank white ceiling.

Suddenly a loud squeak was heard along with a gasp and Demyx dropped the roll of toilet paper onto the floor while his mouth hung open.

"Demyx, what in the name of Kingdom Hearts is going on?" A sonorous, velvety voice interrupted.

The mullet haired man gave a nervous glare to the camera and back at the man in the doorway.

"I uh, was uh…"

"Enough, we will have to talk with Lord Xemnas about your despicable behavior and how you mindlessly do pointless things when there are hearts to capture." The monotone voice continued.

"Aww…" Demyx pouted and hung his head down, "I was just having fun X –man..."

"Fun?" The man asked, "Tell me more about how we have emotions without any hearts."

Demyx grabbed the camera lazily and pointed the lense at the man in the doorway. It showed a tall man with frayed long blue hair that framed his face. A noticeable x scar was between his glowing ember eyes.

"You know that could be used as a great Willy Wonka meme." Demyx stated as he zoomed into the man's eyes.

"Put that down now." The man demanded bitterly as he brushed the camera away.

"Can I just have five more minutes?" Demyx asked like a five year old who wished to have had more time at the Playground.

"Fine, you get exactly five minutes. If you are even one second over your time limit I will have Lord Xemnas turn you into a Dusk." And with that, the blue haired man left the room.

"Man, Saix can be such a drag sometimes." He whispered into the camera as he set it on the island again.

"OK now it's REALLY time to get down to business and let those bed bugs bite." He turned his back to the camera and pushed a white button on a microwave that was placed on the counter top. He stepped sideways to get the heating device in view.

"OK so now I'm going to try it!" He then stuck his hand onto the clear turning tray inside and pressed the number 9 twice and then the start button.

The microwave revved up and began to heat immediately.

He chuckled and jerked his head to face the camera and gave a thumbs up with his free hand, "I hope this works!"

_**XxXxXxXxXx** _

The scene was now showing Demyx sitting on his bed with a damp towel wrapped around his hand.

"Guys, operation: tanning in the microwave has become a complete failure." He hung his head down in shame and sighed, "It got too hot and my hand burned…" He held up his hand that was wrapped in a towel and sighed again.

"Oh well. So I guess this is goodbye you awesome people of the media world who I do not know." He paused for a second and then a grin plastered his face, "But first it's time to do Xigbar's fun Facts!"

As if on cue the man with the eye patch barged through his door and fell onto the floor with a loud thump.

"I'm Ok…" He mumbled as he stood up to his feet and brushed the dirt off his cloak, "Oh hey guys!" The man greeted with a wave at the camera, "I guess you're waiting for old Xiggy's fun fact of the day so here it is. Did you know that when you sneeze, all your body functions stop, even your heart?"

"That's neat-o Xiggy, except we don't have hearts."

"And did you know that Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants? That sick duck, I personally think he needs to consider buying a pair I mean that's just disgusting."

"OK Xiggy, only one fun fact a day."

"Or did you know that the first toilet that was ever seen on T.V was on "Leave It To Beaver?"

Demyx then pushed Xigbar out of the view of the camera and waved, "Bye guys!"

And with that he shut off the camera.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! All these crazy ideas are inspired by the music video called "Dare To Be Stupid" By Weird Al Yankovic, I suggest you watch it.**


	4. Episode Four! 10 ways to relieve boredom!

**Another chappie! This one seems the longest and in my opinion it is the funniest. Enjoy!**

**By the way XxXxXx indicates a scene change just so it's easier to read :)**

* * *

"Alright, so we all get bored sometimes." Demyx stated as he was sitting in his swivel chair again in his room. A poster of Michael Jackson was taped on the wall behind him, "But what do we do?" He asked as he stared at nothing to his right in a deep thinking state with his finger tapping his chin.

He faced the camera and continued, "Well for those of you who are really bored right now or just looking for something to do, here are some things you can do!" He now had his big ear to ear grin on while doing a thumbs up.

"Number one; have a fashion show!" The words 'have a fashion show' flashed on the screen in neon green.

**XxXxXx**

Suddenly a clip was shown of Marluxia in the Hall of Empty Melodies where he was wearing a dress that had a blue top with a high white collar. Large red diamond like patterns decorated the blue poofy sleeves and the skirt part of the dress was a bright yellow, to match the pumps he was wearing.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, too sexy it hurts!" The pink haired man sang as he began to exit through a large white door with his back facing the camera while swinging his hips.

**XxXxXx**

The scene was back to showing Demyx sitting in his swivel chair, "Number two; flirt with a wall!" He exclaimed while waving his hands around excitedly and the words 'Flirt with a wall' flashed on the screen in a blue color.

**XxXxXx**

Luxord was being shown standing beside a white wall and swaying form side to side unsteadily, "If I were a stop light," He giggled to himself while his stare never left the wall, "I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer." He said lazily while giggling like an idiot then hiccuping a few times.

**XxXxXx**

"Number three; discuss plans of world domination with vegetables!"

**XxXxXx**

Axel chuckled evilly as he stood in the fresh produce aisle in the Pointless Wal to Mart. Demyx zoomed the camera in to see the crazy red head gesturing towards the lettuce.

"You, lettuce!" He exclaimed, "Captain the S.S Axel Is Super Awesome and Hot ship while you, carrot, make prank calls to my cousin Suzy!" He continued to chuckle evilly and some woman with black hair stood beside Axel and asked him to move.

"We shall continue this later." He stated as he walked away with an evil grin.

**XxXxXx**

Demyx was shown wearing a black Afro wig and exclaimed, "Number four; construct your own language!" The words 'construct your own language' flashed on the screen in a bright pink.

**XxXxXx**

Xigbar was shown with a Mexican black mustache with big neon green glasses standing in the Gray Area in the castle right in front of the glass window where Kingdom Hearts was brightly shining through.

"Elotch ehmay patolar faluctant emarat." The man with the eye patch spoke with his hands on his hips proudly.

"Uh, could you interpret that for us?" Demyx asked behind camera.

"Huh? Oh sure." He cleared his throat, "I obviously said, please pass that umbrella or my friend Bob will die from the very rare but deadly broccoli disorder." He then smiled at the camera.

Demyx gave a quiet chuckle and zoomed in on the man's face, "Oh right, I knew that."

"You two, back to your missions." A stern voice interrupted, it was obviously Saix.

**XxXxXx**

The Melodious Nocturne was shown still sitting in his black swivel chair, this time wearing a gold plastic tiara with pink and purple gems, "Number five; eat the smell of carrots!" The words flashed onto the screen in red lettering.

**XxXxXx**

The scene now changed to a crowded space with three rows of beige colored seats with heads of hair just slightly above the back of the seats ahead. At the very front were two seats with arm rests, one a driver's seat which a man with mid-back silver hair sat in and the other, the passenger seat which the blue haired man named Saix sat in. It was almost like sitting in the movies, with the large windshield as the screen only with limited space to move around.

"Alright, I'm here in Xemmy's old bus thingy with some of the guys from the Orgy. This is Axel." Demyx whispered as he whipped the camera to show his friend beside him, who waved lazily at the camera.

"And this is Roxas." The camera whipped to the left to see a short blonde spiky haired teen that was slumped in his seat crossing his arms.

"Here hold this." Mumbled the mullet haired teen as the screen moved around until it came to a stop. It was now showing Demyx with Roxas on his left, obviously Axel was holding the device now.

The Melodious Nocturne jerked his head upward to face the camera and smiled, "I'm gonna eat the smell of carrots!" He then flicked his hand in front of his face, and in his finger was a crunchy small and orange vegetable.

With a sigh Roxas shifted in his seat and rested his head on the wall of the van.

Demyx took a big whiff of the carrot and bit into the air, "Mmm, pretty tasty."

**XxXxXx**

"Number five; Have a conversation with a chair." He said in a dark tone as the hood of his black cloak covered his face. As usual the words flashed onto the screen

**XxXxXx**

A clip was shown of Luxord sitting in a white plastic lawn chair in a fake grass area at a mall, and beside him was another plastic lawn chair and a grill was in between the two chairs that had a bright yellow tag attached to it. He was giggling madly to himself.

"You better call Life Alert," He started as he turned towards the chair beside him while swaying to the left and right, "'Cause I've fallen for you and I can't get up." He giggled again along with some hiccuping.

The camera shook as Demyx cracked up laughing.

**XxXxXx**

"Number six! Get hit by a parked car!" Demyx shouted while his voice bounced off the walls of his room, creating an echo.

**XxXxXx**

A clip was shown of a car lot that had a row of parked vehicles ranging from Honda's to Fords. Axel was standing a distance away and was shown running towards a red Honda Accord and crashing into it with a big CLANK and falling on his back.

"I've been hit! I've been hit! Someone call the police!" He screamed.

**XxXxXx**

Evil laughter was heard and Demyx wasn't shown, instead the seat of his swivel chair was seen.

Spikes of sandy brown hair suddenly popped up at the bottom of the screen, then two cyan eyes appeared and they were wide opened. Soon the whole face of Demyx covered the screen and his mouth was up close, "Number seven;" He started as his breath fogged up the screen, "Find an inanimate object, name it, and make it your child."

**XxXxXx**

"Oh Zexy isn't she adorable?" The penetrating voice of the only female in the Organization cooed as she hung off of the Schemer's shoulder while holding a round rock in her left hand.

With the death glare Zexion took a step away from the Savage Nymph and brushed his shoulder with his hand from where she was leaning on him.

"I don't understand what you are getting at, Larxene." Zexion remarked in his silvery quiet voice.

Demyx was capturing this moment from behind a couch in the Gray Area and was trying his best not to make a sound.

"I named her Jordan! Aw I think she has my eyes, what do you think?" She asked while pushing the rock into his face.

Zexion took a step back, "Larxene, it's a rock." He stated plainly.

She gasped and placed her hand on her hip and her mouth dropped in disbelief, "How dare you!" She shrieked, "Just because you said that, you're going to be the one to change her diaper now!" Larxene grabbed Zexion's hand and placed the rock into it.

"But Larxene-"

She interrupted by yelling in his face, "No buts! I'm not the only parent here, act like a father to her!"

The Schemer raised an eyebrow and dropped the rock onto the floor and turned on his heel to walk away.

Larxene gasped as her mouth dropped to the floor, "Zexion!"

With a roll of his eyes he turned around, "What?" He asked, annoyed.

"You…" She started in a brittle voice, "You killed our baby!" Her knees dropped to the floor and she caressed the stone in her arms, "Speak to me Jordan, please!"

"And THAT is my colleague." Zexion remarked with a shake of his head in unbelief and walked away.

**XxXxXx**

"Alright, we have three more to go and I need to speed this video up 'cause I have to do recon in about ten minutes." Demyx stated as he spun around in his swivel chair, "OK number eight! Find your inner duck!"

**XxXxXx**

The clip showed a beach. The waves gently crashing onto the sandy shore, the sun gleaming on the sand making it shine like tons of tiny jewels. The cry of seagulls came in every now and then.

The camera was facing the deep blue water and was zoomed in on two young men swimming in it.

One had sandy brown hair shaped into a mullet and the other had shoulder length bright red hair that was slicked back into spikes. The two were obviously Demyx and Axel.

Demyx waved at the camera with a faint "Hi!" and Axel backstroked.

Since the crashing of the waves and the voices of many other people were heard, the two had to yell to be heard on the camera.

"Were going to be ducks!" The mullet haired man hollered while facing Axel.

The red haired man didn't seem to acknowledge that Demyx was even talking.

"I guess it's just me!" Demyx sunk down into the water and the spikes of his hair flattened as he bobbed back up. He then began to stick out his lips, forming a duck beak and then began to quack like a duck.

Axel, seeing this decided to swim away from his crazy friend.

The Melodious Nocturne then began to swim closer to the shore and then walked out of the water while flapping his arms like wings. He hunched over and continued to quack.

One child who was about three years old began to scream and wail at the sight of Demyx.

**XxXxXx**

"OK two more! Number nine! Yay my number! Have relationship with a tree!" The excited mullet haired man exclaimed as the words appeared on the screen.

**XxXxXx**

A clip was shown and Demyx was hugging a tall, thick tree with crispy bark in the forest area in Twilight Town. There were many other trees shown that shadowed over everything.

"Oh tree, I love you." He said in a brittle way as tears formed in his eyes. "I love you so much…"

Suddenly Luxord unexpectedly came wobbling over, barely managing to keep his balance."MY TREE, MY WIFE!" He screamed while pointing to a tree past Demyx, which he obviously was trying to point at the tree Demyx had been hugging. But that's what happens when Luxord gets drunk...

Demyx stopped hugging the tree and looked around awkwardly, "Um…"

"FROM AWAY BACK MY TREE!" He continued to holler in words that were hard to even understand what he was actually saying. He wobbled over to Demyx and lazily pushed him out of the way and hugged the tree and began to giggle like an idiot.

The mullet haired man rubbed the back of his neck and stared past the camera, "Did you get that on tape Axel?" He asked.

"Sure did." The red haired man replied from behind camera.

**XxXxXx**

"Now time for the last one!" A drum roll started and Demyx excitedly rubbed his hands together, "Number ten! Slap someone with a loaf of bread!"

**XxXxXx**

The scene changed and showed Demyx and Xigbar standing in a white hallway outside a door with a package of bread in each of their hands.

They both shushed each other and the door suddenly opened to reveal Xemnas scanning over a stack of papers in his hands. When the door closed the two jumped out and began smacking Xemnas' head of silver hair with the squishy bread.

The superior screamed like a five year old little girl and dropped to his knees and then into the fetal position.

"SWEET MOTHER OF MCDONALDS! HELP ME BURGER KING!" The silver haired Superior screamed as he blocked his face with his hands, shutting his eyes tightly.

The two began to laugh menacingly and continued to smack the superior with the packages.

**XxXxXx**

"Well now that you've seen the top ten ways to relieve boredom, it's time to do Xiggy's fun fact!" Demyx exclaimed as he grabbed the camera and faced it towards his bedroom door on the left.

Suddenly it opened to reveal a man with ember eyes and an eye patch that covered his right eye. His dark long hair with many light gray streaks was tied into a ponytail.

"Hey kiddos." He greeted with a grin and a slight wave, "Today's fun fact is…"

A drum roll started.

"Did you know that the average chocolate bar has eight insect legs in it? Well it does! See ya later now and behave." And with that fact he left through the door.

"Well bye, thanks for watching!"

* * *

**Thanks for reading! I enjoyed typing this one the most, and I hope you enjoyed it! Please review :)**


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